How to Make Sense of your Response to SCOTUS Overturning Roe v. Wade

By Alexandra Pool, LPC

emotions can be confusing and difficult to understand in the face of traumatic events.

First and foremost, it’s important to recognize the overturning of a nearly 50-year precedent protecting the right to abortion for what it is: a traumatic event. The loss of human rights and freedom of choice over one’s “own” body is traumatic. When one experiences such a loss, especially one that they themselves had no control over, it strips away the feeling of safety and security. It is only natural to feel anxious, worried, overwhelmed, rage, or all of the above in response to this event. 

What we do in response to our many emotions will look different for each person. Some people may write to their state legislators, while others may march and protest in the streets. You may feel inclined to donate to organizations that protect human rights and women’s reproductive health. Others may take the time to educate themselves and start discussions within their workplace, friend groups, or family. Others may jump to begin planning their departure from the US to live in a different country for fear of their rights being further stripped away. Others may silently process the news on their own, feeling overwhelmed with what to do next. And while we each have our biases and may see the benefit and importance of one response over another, there are valid reasons for why we may respond, feel, and act in the way that we do in the face of devastating world events. 

The lack of safety and fear of uncertainty leads to a stress response within our bodies. Our biological stress response is our brain’s means of keeping us alive. Our stress response is automatic; the alarm system in our brain, the amygdala, goes into hyperdrive putting our emotional brain, known as the limbic system, in control. This shuts down your prefrontal cortex, the decision-making part of your brain, and leads you to reflexively act in whatever way your brain thinks will help you survive the current situation. 

Your brain is not able to tell the difference between a stressful situation occurring right now or imagining it happening. While we may not be experiencing a life and death situation in the here and now, on a chemical level our biological response to stressful news is as if we were standing in front of immediate danger. For less intense threats, the frontal lobes can work to override your amygdala so you can approach the situation rationally. But in the case of strong threats, the amygdala may trigger your nervous systems to engage in one of the four known stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Here’s what these stress responses may look like in the face of the overturning of Roe v. Wade:

Fight

In the face of stress, your brain sends signals throughout your body to rapidly prepare for the physical demands of fighting. Your anger or aggression towards the ruling may cause you to tense up, tighten your jaw or grind your teeth, feel the urge to punch someone or something, or engage in aggressive conversation. For some, this fight response can escalate into starting a comment war with your 65 year old uncle on Facebook who posted an article in favor of the overturn. 

While these argumentative responses happen, our intense energy to fight can also be used in a productive way. You can write to your state legislator or join protests and marches in your city. You can assert your views, personal experiences, and fears in spaces that feel supportive and safe. You can set solid boundaries around the media you are consuming and focus on promoting organizations such as Planned Parenthood or The Center for Reproductive Rights. 

If you notice yourself responding in a way that mirrors with the “fight” response, remember that while fighting this issue is important, it’s helpful to pause to check in with how you can use this urge to fight in a way that aligns with your personal values. 

Flight

Your brain might respond with “fleeing” the situation when it believes you can survive the danger by running away or leaving the situation altogether. The emotional and physical responses that signify you are in flight mode are feeling fidgety, restless, or trapped. You feel an urge to escape the situation and find both physical and emotional safety. In everyday life, the flight response may look like avoidant behavior. You may avoid watching the news or going on social media as a means of self-preservation. Your brain perceives the news cycle as so overstimulating that you may find yourself disengaging from the news completely. You might avoid interactions and conversations with others about the topic by changing the subject when it’s brought up. To avoid the uncomfortable and confusing feelings, you may try to jam pack your schedule to keep your mind busy with work or personal tasks. On a larger scale your flight response may look like making plans to move to a state, or a new country, that protects the right to abortion. 

People who find themselves responding in a way that aligns with the “flight” response may feel a sense of fear of approaching the reality of the loss of bodily autonomy. Make space to feel your emotions and sit in the discomfort, reminding yourself that your emotions themselves are not dangerous, but rather a normal response to trauma. Start small by allowing yourself time to reflect on how you are feeling independently before reaching out to others. 

Freeze

The freeze response looks exactly like it sounds like: freezing. You will freeze when parts of your sympathetic nervous system have reached a point of overwhelm. This causes a neurological shutdown as a means of preventing further stress on the body. In response to Roe v. Wade being overturned this may feel like being in a sense of shock, you may find yourself thinking, “This can’t be real”, and having a hard time grasping the reality of this verdict. You may find yourself mentally checked out and disconnecting from taking in more information as a means of attaining emotional safety. 

People who find themselves automatically responding with freezing in place in the face of traumatic events often hold a sense of shame and judgment towards themselves, believing they are a “bad person” or “not doing enough,” despite feeling passionately about the cause. Yet, when our brains feel overwhelmed it’s near impossible to expect ourselves to make decisions about how to act. The freeze response forces you to slow down, regulate your emotions, and evaluate the situation carefully to determine the next steps. Give yourself permission to process independently in the face of this news, rather than pressuring yourself to be outspoken or jump into action. 

Fawn

Fawn is the least known stress response of the four. You will resort to the fawn response when your brain believes the clearest path to safety is appeasing the threat. By fawning, you seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs, and demands of others. The fawn response can also occur after you have attempted flight, fight, or freeze, yet remain facing the stressful event and feel that your attempts at safety through fight, flight, or freeze have been unsuccessful. 

In response to the overturn of Roe v. Wade you may find yourself resorting to fawn behaviors when in the face of high conflict discussions. This can look like people-pleasing and engaging in pacifying behaviors in order to de-escalate the situation. You may find yourself staying quiet in conversations where you feel outnumbered by Pro-Life participants. You may find yourself saying whatever they want to hear to diffuse conflict and end the conversation. 

This response can feel shameful after the fact, as you may feel like you are abandoning yourself, your personal beliefs, and your values. Yet if you notice yourself fawning in the face of conflict, be compassionate with yourself. In the face of conflict, it can be increasingly difficult to speak your mind and express how you feel. Remember, this is a way of taking care of yourself. There are many environments where it may not be safe to express your emotions. Vocalizing your opinion in certain spaces presents a real risk to your emotional and physical safety. 

Take steps to be proactive when going into these conversations and environments that do not feel supportive or safe by setting boundaries. Where do you need to draw the line in conversation? What will you and will you not discuss? You can take some of your power back by standing firm in your boundaries without feeling like you are abandoning yourself.   

You are feeling for a reason.

When one’s safety and security is threatened, the body rapidly responds as a means of survival. The underlying goal of jumping into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, is eliminate the threat to return to a state of calm and control. The overturning of Roe v. Wade places many of us under a significant level of stress, fear, and uncertainty. Your stress response can change depending on the situation; You may find yourself leaning towards fighting one day, and then freezing the next.

As a therapist who has spent the last few days discussing and processing this loss with clients, I consistently remind people that there is no right or wrong way to feel or respond to the loss of human rights. 

It’s okay to feel scared and not know where to start. 

It’s okay to feel worried about the future and what it means for your daughter and generations of women to come. 

It’s okay to cry, yell, hide, or rant to your family and friends about the complete disregard for basic human rights. 

Your emotions show that you are human. Be kind to yourself and others as we face this collective trauma. Reach out to the ones you love and check in on the friend you haven’t heard from in awhile. Above all, do what you need to take care of yourself. You are needed in the movement for reproductive justice.